Molly Ann Muriel Beddow

Molly Ann Muriel Beddow
D.O.B 27/06/2006
Birth weight 1lb 9oz
15 Weeks premature
D.O.D 03/11/2006
Aged Nearly 5 months old
Weight 6lb 15oz

Molly had 5 bowel operations during her time in St Marys
Hospital and 3 broviac line operations. Molly had a very cheeky personality; she always had her tongue out, sucking on her dummy or ventilator tube but most of the time on both. Molly’s whole face lit up when she smiled. Her eyes were brown and beautifully big. Molly had brown curly hair. She always had lovely nails that had long white tips as if they had been manicured. Her toe nails were the same they looked as if she had a pedicure. Molly always smiled even when she was really poorly. Molly also made sucking noises which were really cute, the sort that makes you laugh whenever you think back to her making them. Molly had the cutest little coughs and sneezes. When Molly didn’t like something she would have the worst temper tantrums you could imagine. She would pull out her tubes and cry like mad. Molly wasn’t a baby that liked being touched very often with her being in intensive care nurses and doctors were always messing with her and waking her up all the time. When she wanted to be touched though she would squeeze your finger so tight that her tiny fingertips would go pure white. Molly loved having cuddles and baths with me and Stephanie, she would just sleep all the way through bath time sitting on the bubbles (Stephanie put the oxygen tube into the bath and made it like a Jacuzzi for Molly) she loved it. I will never forget Molly for as long as I live and I doubt that anyone that knew her would either. I love you darling and I want you to know that I know why you was brought into this world and then taken away from me again now. You was brought here to teach me how to change my life and myself. You was taken away from me because Grandma needed a helping hand in heaven and George needed someone he knows to look after him. When it’s my time to go to heaven I know you will be waiting at heavens gates for me smiling and eyes lit up, until then just know that everything I do now is for you. I miss you so much darling. All my love mummy xxxxxx

Your story!!
When I Sarah Beddow found out I was pregnant aged 17 years old I was already 22 weeks gestation but only had a tiny bump. I had mixed feelings about having a baby because You wasnt planned but I loved you straight away. I went to Wales to see your great nanna and grandad and thats when my contractions started at 25 weeks gestation. The nurses gave me steriods to try stop you from coming into the world so early and so small, but you didnt want to wait. You was born at 7:01am tuesday 27th june 2006. You were so tiny, your skin was bright red and you had a mound of dark brown hair like mine! You came into the world crying so loud which the nurses and doctors said was a good sign. When you was a week old you had to be rushed into theatre for your 1st bowel operation because you had a hole in your bowel and it was all diseased. I had half an hour with you and I remember how hard and heart breaking it was as though it was just yesterday. You came back to me after 5 hours. You started to get better but then your stomas (bowel on the outside from the operation) prolapsed and you had to go back to theatre to sort them out. This happend 3 times when the surgeons decided to put your bowels back inside your tummy. You had gotten alot better during the times your stomas were prolapsing and once I got told you would be moved into room 2 because you was breathing on your own with no help what so ever for 10 hours. The day after you took a bad turn and became poorly again so you was put back on ncpap (little oxygen mask over your nose). Then you got worse and worse and had to go back onto the ventilator (life support machine). You started getting really really poorly again and on your last operation when the surgeon was giving you stomas again I got told that if they had to cut a big amount of bowel from you, you would only survive for a couple of weeks. You came back to me but never got better. On the 4th october you took a turn for the worst by the 6th I got told you wouldnt make it to the morning. So I asked grandma to keep you strong and she must of heard me. You got christend that night and stayed with me til the 3rd November. 2nd november I washed my hands took off my coat and walked up to your cot to see you like always but as soon as I looked over at your nurse Stephanie I knew she was going to tell me you was leaving. I had a meeting with Dr daddy and he asked me for permission to turn off your ventilator. At that point I broke down and couldnt say anything. I turned to your nanna for the answer. We couldnt do anything to help you get through everything that had happend to you. We made the decision (which I still think was it the right one) to let you go in dignity in my arms with nanna holding onto you and Great cousin Claire (also one of your godmothers). If I wouldnt of made that decision dr daddy said you might of gone alone on the ventilator in pain any night for at the most 3 days. Im so sorry for what I had to do Molly and I wish I could of given up my life to take the place of yours. If I could go back and die for you then I would in less than a second. This isnt all of your story because it hurts too much to explain everything that you went through during your short lifetime. I love you so much, Your going to be 1 in less than 2 weeks, I wish you was here spending it in my arms but as your not, have a beautiful day up in heaven. xxxx